Thoughts over sleep

Have you ever had those nights where you can't sleep because your brain is on overdrive? I have one too many of these nights and it really ruins my sleeping pattern. Sometimes I wish my mind would just take a chill pill and let me be. I was so ready to sleep tonight, eyes closed and everything...then, the brain starts going. I can't sleep because my mind was playing out different scenarios.

The scenarios seem so realistic in my mind and I wish one day they will become a reality. Hard thing is, most of these scenarios seem too good to be true. It's mostly day dreaming or fantasizing, and majority of the time it puts me down. On the nights that I have to deal with these thoughts I listen to music to hopefully fall asleep. "Nope! Not tonight!" says my brain that just can't seem to find a way to stop.

I really do find it quite unrealistic how just one person can take over your mind so much. I was playing out scenarios of what it would be like to meet him. I was wondering what it would be like to look into his eyes and not being afraid to say anything. Then, knowing my mind, puts in a negative...finally meeting him and feeling that he won't like me and I just walk away. That's reality I guess, there are always going to be ups and downs no matter what.

This statement could be true...I really do hope it is to some extent. Although, it's hard to believe it because a lot of people have mixed up sleeping patterns and/or insomnia. Also, time difference can be a big factor as to why this can't be true. Anyway, it would be nice to know that that special someone is out there. That special someone is probably thinking the same things too.

Well, that's a bit of a ramble/rant wasn't it? Especially for a 3 am post all while I'm drinking cranberry juice. This was a short post, since I need to try and sleep. I hope all of you can sleep peacefully, I wouldn't like to see others go through this. Have a good night's sleep or a good morning. 

The song I am listening to while trying to fall asleep is:

My Awake by Late Night Alumni

 

~*Kaeli YouJae*~

~*Good night or good morning*~

My missing piece

Recently, I have been feeling as if I have found my missing puzzle piece. I have been thinking about how much this person has in common with me. It's actually quite scary how much we have in common, whether it be actions or intellect. It is also all natural for the both of us to do what we do. To me, he is so perfect, there is nothing that I don't like about him, I love everything about him.

Although, I haven't met him yet, I feel as though I have known him for a long time. I feel as if I have met him before or something along those lines. Every time I see him I just have to smile, he makes me so happy. He may make me happy at times but, he also brings tears to my eyes. I'm afraid that someone is going to take him away.

I want to be his, I want to be his everything. I had a sudden attraction to him and it came from absolutely nowhere. I never thought I would be this attracted to someone or have these feelings towards someone. It just took one look and for me to say, "Hey, that guy is quite attractive." Then, all of these feelings came from there and they have grown stronger ever since.

He is literally the other side to me, the other half, and my missing piece. Just watching him from afar and seeing all of the little things he does, I fall in love repeatedly. I even find the odd things he does to be attractive, meaning: things that you usually wouldn't find cute. I don't know if this is creepy or not, but, I love watching him eat. Like I had said earlier, I love everything about him, even the small things.

I honestly would do anything for him, he makes me feel so encouraged and supported. Lately, I have been pushing myself to do very well in school for him. I have been pushing myself to the point where my brain feels like it's going to explode. I always tell myself though that this is for him. He makes me feel good about myself, and he makes me feel that whatever I put my mind to I can do it.

He inspires me each and everyday. Seeing him do his best all the time, makes me want to do the same. There are just countless and admirable things about him that I just can't describe. I would like to say that he has made me a better person. He has also taught me to look at the world at a different perspective. 

I learn something new from him almost every day. He makes me look forward to each day, whether it be bad or good. He just makes me feel so alive, so alive that I'm just happy to be living and breathing each and every day. Knowing that I can see his smiling face every day makes my life worth it. He gives me that extra push to keep on moving forward.

Whenever I think of him or look at him I get those butterflies and my heart beats a little faster. I can't help the way I feel about him, it's quite hard to tell if this is an "infatuation" or "love". If I were with him, I wouldn't mind being away from him for a little bit, everyone needs their space. Just knowing that he is alive and happy, that's all that I need. I feel that he is pure perfection to me, maybe a prince charming. ^^

I can't wait until the day I get to finally meet him. That would be the day that I get to find out if it was meant to be or not. I am totally prepared for what may come of the answer. Only time will tell, I just believe that I have to have faith and hope that this may work. No one knows what will happen, I just have to keep my head up and wait for that day. 

I just know that this guy makes me feel like no other could. He is everything that I ever imagined in a guy, he is just too perfect to me. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. Every little thing reminds me or makes me think of him. I believe in fate, I just hope that this is right. 

I don't want anyone else but him, I know that sounds so cliche but that's how I feel. He has become a part of me, I can't go a day without thinking of him. Most of the time my mind just wanders off to him anyways. These are all natural feelings and I just can't describe fully of how he makes me feel. I can't describe fully of how I feel about him. 

He is just my missing piece, he is special, and he has stolen my heart and is running away with it. I just wish he knew that he meant this much to me. Everyday that goes by, my feelings grow stronger and stronger. Every time I see him, my heart beats faster and faster. I just want him to know that he is always on my mind and in my heart.

<3

chuu!!~~~ <3

Okay, that's all for my post today!!

Hope you enjoyed it!!

Have a lovely day!!

<3

~*Kaeli YouJae*~

Song of the Month

The song of the month is...

First Time by Ginuwine

The reasoning for this being the song of the month is because I was watching B.A.P on Beatles Code. When I was watching my one and only bias YoungJae introducing himself, he decided to sing this song. I knew right away what song he was singing because of the lyrics. The way he sang it was just so amazing and I fell in love with this song all over again. I love the lyrics to this song, it is so catchy and so cute!! :3 <3

Here is YoungJae singing First Time (skip to 4:35)

First Time by Ginuwine

First Time lyrics:

When the songs done call the radio and tell them play it like the first time
When the songs done call the radio and tell them play it like the first time
Every time it feels like the very first time
Wake up in the morning and I open my eyes
I see you, you, you...
Yeah

And every time I put my lips on your lips
I love the way it feels baby when I do this
I say oh... everything, everything that you do it makes me say oh...
Baby yeah

When I run my fingers through your hair
That's when nothing in the world compares
I just wanna please you, please you girl
I never wanna see you, see you hurt

Still smell like perfume when it's fresh outta the box
Wanna wipe you down every morning like the car I just bought
And like the brand new house take off my shoes to walk
You're still fine like the very time
The very first time I saw you girl
The very first time I saw you girl
Still fresh with the best
Can't believe I'm getting less
Still fine like the very first time...

You make my heart go boom boom boom
When you step up in the room
Oh what I wanna do to you
When I get you to my room
Oh girl oh, this private part is made
And your body is VIP

When I run my fingers through your hair
That's when nothing in the world compares
I just wanna please you, please you girl
I never wanna see you, see you hurt

Still smell like perfume when it's fresh outta the box
Wanna wipe you down every morning like the car I just bought
And like the brand new house take off my shoes to walk
You're still fine like the very time
The very first time I saw you girl
The very first time I saw you girl
Still fresh with the best
Can't believe I'm getting less
Still fine like the very first time...

When the songs done call the radio and tell them play it like the first time
When the songs done call the radio and tell them play it like the first time

Just bob your head, move your feet
This time make the speakers speak
Just like the first time
Just bob your head, move your feet
This time make the speakers speak
Just like the first time

Still smell like perfume when it's fresh outta the box
Wanna wipe you down every morning like the car I just bought
And like the brand new house take off my shoes to walk
You're still fine like the very time
The very first time I saw you girl
The very first time I saw you girl
Still fresh with the best
Can't believe I'm getting less
Still fine like the very first time...
The very first time I saw you girl
The very first time I saw you girl
Still fresh with the best
Can't believe I'm getting less
Still fine like the very first time...

Well, there you go! This month's song!!

I really do hope you enjoyed!!

Have a wonderful day!!

~* Kaeli YouJae *~

My little sister Kena

Today I would like to talk about my sweet little sister Kena. I honestly was afraid to talk to her at first, I thought that we would have conflict and she would judge me. After gaining the courage to talk to her, I found that there was nothing to be scared about. She was very soft spoken, we still need to warm up to each other a little more. She seems like a wonderful girl and very bright, I feel that I want to be there for her.

There are times when she feels that she is going to be kicked out of a group. She feels really bad for being forgetful and she feels that people will be upset with her. I feel that I want to help her and lift her up when she is feeling this way. Honestly, I feel that no one should ever feel that way. I want to let her know that I want to be here for her and be someone she can count on. 

All I want to do is see her smile and make her feel that there's nothing to be afraid of. I want to be that person who will always be there to listen to her, someone she can run to when she is in need of someone. She is a very nice girl from what I can tell. The girl I have come to know so far, is someone with talent and friendly. I still have more to know about her and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make her feel safe.

Let us learn from one another, and never give up on one another

Little sister, I just want to let you know that I'm always here for you.

Let's not be afraid to tell each other how we feel and listen to one another.

I want to be here for you and pick you up when you're feeling down.

Let's be here for each other no matter what.

Can we be goofy together when we get the chance to meet?

Little sister, I will always be here for you...whenever you should need me.

Same goes for the rest of our B.A.P family.

We will always be here for you.

We love you Kena.

<3

To my lovely little sister

Kena

~Kaeli YouJae~

Awakened

Hello everyone!! Today I would just like to share pictures I had taken of myself. Not to sound conceited or anything like that. I was actually inspired by a song and a youtuber to do this. I am so extremely happy of the editing and results of the photos. I am proud of myself, they came out so pretty!

I was actually inspired to look like an angel or something heavenly. 

The song that inspired me to do this is called:

"Awakened" by Ian Mcintosh

The youtuber that inspired me to be like an angel was Charisma Star

Here are the photos!!~~~

Please enjoy!!~~~

I really hope that you liked my photos!!

That is all from me today!!

See you soon!!~~~

~* Kaeli YouJae *~