B.A.P 30 day challenge #4

Day 4: Ultimate bias and why? 

My ultimate bias, as most or all of my readers and friends know is....Yoo YoungJae!!! Yay!!!! He is my ultimate bias because we are both '94 liners, we are the year of the dog, and we have many common personality traits. :3 We also do many of the same things. We have a lot in common and he just makes me a happy little girl. :) He makes me smile, squeal, happy and just makes my world go around. ♡♡♡♡♡ Yoo Youngjae is amazing, cute, smart, funny, and everything in between. I don't know where I'd be without him. Saranghaeyo~!!!! Youngjae oppa!!! ♡♡♡

***ALL PHOTO CREDIT GOES TO THEIR RESPECTABLE OWNERS***

Happy 20th birthday YoungJae

Happy 20th birthday Yoo YoungJae

Happy birthday Yoo YoungJae! I hope you have a wonderful and amazing day! Today is the day to celebrate the day that you were brought into this world. The day that you made your family happy and the day a beautiful singer like you was born to be a star. You were born to make B.A.P complete, to make your beautiful voice shine through, and to make us BABYz happy and swoon over how handsome you have become. You are truly talented and so charismatic. You always put your heart and soul into everything that you do. You always give us and the world 110% of what you have. You are so handsome, smart, talkative, cheerful, lovable and caring. You are truly an amazing person and we are so glad to be a part of your life. You make all of our lives that much more worth it. ^^ Happy 20th birthday Yoo YoungJae! <3

Have an amazing and adventurous day. 

YoungJae oppa, you are finally another year older and another year more handsome and talented. We will always be fighting right beside you. 

We love you Yoo YoungJae!

Happy Birthday Yoo YoungJae

<3

xoxo

Shipping KaeJae

KaeJae

Recently, or should I say last night, a girl had commented on one of my pictures on Instagram and she said, "My sister and I ship you with Youngjae ^.^". My reaction to this was a big smile and covering my face with my hands. That had made my night and made me feel so happy. So many people have told me this, and it makes me feel so happy and bashful for some reason. She had also said, "Lol you're so welcome ^.^ you guys would be so perfff OuO". Aiiiggggooooo~~~ <3 This person had just made my day and all of my friends and others who have told me the same thing. I honestly never thought that I looked good with him but, I guess I'm growing into it. If that makes sense. ^^;;

I was so happy after hearing what that girl had said that I even started coming up with shipping names. ^^ The first ones were based off of a nickname I had given to myself and Youngjae's fandom. I'm a "Milkshake" and he's a "Brainbox", therefore I came up with: Milkbox and my friend came up with Brainshake. The other two were just based off of our names put together like the regular shipping names. I came up with "KaeJae" and "JaeKae". I let my friends look through them and one of them said that they really liked KaeJae. So, there we have it! KaeJae is the shipping name!!! Woo hoo~~~!!!! Fighting~~!!!

Omo ~ I honestly made these shipping pictures just for fun. I didn't think I looked good next to him so I never posted these anywhere until now. So, I guess now the whole world will be able to see them. I don't care what anyone says, I'm happy and that's all that matters to me. I hope you enjoy some of these KaeJae pictures!! ^^

Credit to my dongsaeng Mina Choi

Kaeli and YoungJae

KaeJae

I guess I can now say that I ship myself with Yoo YoungJae <3

I ship...

KaeJae <3

My older sister Michi

Today I would like to talk about my unnie (older sister) Michi. To start off, we met early this year or so and we just immediately clicked. She understood me from the very beginning. She never judged me nor did she second guess things about me. She is really one of my best friends and I know that I can run to her when there's something wrong.

I will admit that we have had our share of ups and downs. Then again, what friends don't? These ups and downs have done nothing but bring us closer together and made our friendship that much stronger. Yes, I take full responsibility for hurting her in the past. I will never forget that and I regret it. 

Honestly, I can say that we have always been there for one another. We also have so many things in common that it makes everything so easy to explain. She just gets me, and that's what I like about her. We both have our moments where our sadness and stubbornness gets the best of us. That's when our strength comes in, we help lift one another up. 

We have both been through so much together and it feels like we have known one another for years. I can't tell you how immensely happy I am to have her in my life. We have always told one another how blessed we are to have met. We feel that we were brought into one another's lives for a reason. We are also willing to meet one of these days in which I am happy about. 

I know, it's so crazy to meet so many amazing people online who actually understand you. It's crazy because most of these people who I have met online are people like me. That's why I hold my unnie close to my heart. Unnie, I cannot wait until that amazing day that we get to meet face to face. I just want to say that you are the kind of person who has a truly big heart of gold.

I love how we can learn from one another. I love how we never second one another's decisions. We always support one another and never let people tear us down. We give one another strength and faith. Let us stay this way for the years to come.

Also, don't forget that I will always be by your side no matter what. I made that promise and I am going to keep my word. I promise you that I will make mistakes but, I will learn from them. I am going to try my hardest to avoid hurting you again. I still regret what I had done in the past and I'm truly sorry. 

We have come a long way together, so let's keep fighting!~~~

I want you to know that whenever you're feeling scared, I'll be there right next to you being scared with you. 

I am going to protect you the best way that I can, just like you have done for me.

I also love how we can always find a way to cheer one another up.

You know that I'll always be here to do things for you and make your life easier. :)

Thank you unnie for always being here for me no matter what. There are absolutely no words to say to explain how grateful I am to have a sister like you. You are my best friend and sister and I want to keep growing together. I love how we can always lean on one another. We shall remain as two peas in a far out pod together. 

WE SHALL KEEP...

HWAITING!!~~~

Saranghaeyo!!~~~

Stay strong unnie!!~~~

Love, your dong saeng

Good bye means forever

Today I would just like to start it off with a small message. As we all know, today is September 11th.

R.I.P to those who have lost their lives on this very day. My heart and thoughts go out to those who have lost a loved one. We will never forget. 

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Now, let us get to the post that I am ready to write.

Recently, I have situated some of my thoughts and feelings. I had found that it's time to officially let go of things and have a fresh start. I am ready to let go of these things forever. I feel that I don't need these things in my life anymore. It is time to say my final farewells and begin anew.

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Here goes...I am officially ready to leave the GazettE fandom for good. I will be leaving all of these things behind. With this fandom brought me pain and unwanted feelings. It also brought along a lot of hate and competition. It's time to say goodbye to the things that hurt me the most. 

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Goodbye the GazettE, we really did have a good run together. I enjoyed all the things you had to give and offer. I appreciate all of the things you had brought into my life. I am so glad you made such beautiful and extraordinary music. You are not the reason why I'm leaving or caused me pain, it was the fandom.

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I want to say goodbye to the fandom. Thank you for actually letting me make a lot of friends. People who actually understood me and didn't judge me. Thank you for letting me make my own loving family out of it. I am leaving you for good because you brought along a lot of pain, hatred, and competition. This fandom has become more of a competition than a family who loves music. That's why I shall say goodbye.

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I am also ready to say goodbye to the one who WAS a BIG influence in my life at the time. You have taught me a lot about myself and those around me. You have taught me to look at things differently. You had taught me to be strong and have a mind of my own. But, also with me liking you brought along A LOT of competition and hatred. It hurt me more than anything to be attacked by those who claim they love you. It ruined my life and the way I felt about you. It brought along a lot of negativity into my life that I never knew I could go through.

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Admiring. loving, and adoring you brought me into a...

Nightmare.

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It's not your fault that any of that had happened but, I feel that it's best to let you go. 

For good this time.

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You had brought a smile to my face but also tears to my eyes and pain in my heart.

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Goodbye...Ruki.

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Goodbye to our 9 lovely years we had together.

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Hello! My new fresh start!!~~~

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Thank you for taking the time to read my farewells. I am feeling a lot better about the changes I am making in my life . I feel like a brand new person, although it still kind of hurts. Why wouldn't it hurt to let go of something that used to mean so much to you? Oh well, I'll learn to get over it. :)

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Have a great day!!!