Hello everyone!!~~~ Well, recently I had my hair cut because half of my hair was fried, had split ends, and was just down right...DEAD. Therefore, my hair is now short, shoulder length, and it's actually pretty cute! My hair is super healthy, soft and thick. I cannot wait to grow it out and have my hair thick like it used to be. I also will only dye it neutral colors or I might just have it stay natural. :)
I would also like to announce that I had changed my instagram name (like for the millionth time) lol XD
Hello everyone!!! As you know, today is my birthday and I didn't really want to do much. I woke up early to my phone going off with a whole lot of birthday wishes. I had so many today that it made me feel so good that I wanted to cry. I never had so much love before, so it really made today good. But, there's a slight down side that I will tell you about.
I was getting ready after eating lunch, my best friend and I had plans to hang out at the mall for my birthday. Next thing I do, is I text her telling her to let me know when she's ready to get me. She tells me that she doesn't know if we are able to hang out. I'm not mad or anything but, I felt disappointed even knowing that there was nothing I could do. So, I was left doing nothing but watch tv and eat all day.
I was honestly all dressed up for nothing, this feels like the rest of all my other birthdays in the past. :( Although, I am just happy for all of the birthday wishes I had been given and all of the people who talked to me today. I was just a happy couch potato today, and constantly listening to B.A.P all day. There was another disappointment though, my own mother didn't bother to say Happy Birthday to me. Ugh....At least my father did, that makes me sad.
The really awesome and exciting thing that I had seen tonight is the yellow full moon!
Right now, I am currently watching Catfish: the TV show awaiting the new episode. I am all bundled up in my blankets and I might go to sleep early. I honestly love sleep, but my body always seems to want to stay awake. So, some nights I sit in bed fighting to get to sleep. I would like to end this post by saying I'm so grateful for another day to be alive. :)
Today I would like to do something for my birthday. The 19th here in America is the 20th in Korea, therefore I have turned 21 in Korea!!~~~ Well, I'm not really doing anything special for my birthday, since I don't really want to. I am just going to go hang out with my best friend Azu. Just hanging out at the mall with my best friend is all I want to do.
So, to make this blog post special for my birthday I'm going to be doing a...
20 facts about me
Ready? Set.
LEGGO!!~~~
1. My favorite colors are: Red, Black, white (which they are actually shades), and pink.
9. Favorite TV shows: Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, Catfish: The TV show, Ridiculousness, Whose line is it anyway?, Ghost Adventures, Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta, and America's best dance crew season 1
10. Favorite movies: Madagascar (all of them), Shrek (all of them), World War Z, White Chicks, Love don't cost a thing, Drumline, Step up 2: the streets, the Grudge, Shutter, Reincarnation, Unborn, Orphan, A lot of Disney movies, and Hansel and Gretel.
11. Favorite Disney characters: Belle, Minnie and Mickey Mouse
12. One and Only bias:
Yoo YoungJae
13. Favorite song at the moment:
Bow Wow by B.A.P
14. Favorite shape:
15. Favorite body parts: eyes, lips, and hands
16. I have a love/hate relationship with shopping
17. My idols:
Mariah Carey
Aundrea Fimbres
18. I get jealous really easily, I have anxiety and depression
19. I have my own "B.A.P family"
20. I like to describe myself as a "good talker", a "brainiac", and a bombshell Brainbox.
Well, that's it for my 20 facts about me!
I hope you all enjoyed it!
Please feel free to subscribe to my YouTube channel: CutieGal Keiki
I'm still trying to comprehend with the fact that I'm another year older and yet, I don't feel like it nor look like it.
I'm just taking things day by day and trying to live each moment to its fullest.
I really do wish that both of my parents were here to celebrate my birthday with me. I know that they are both always thinking of me in the end. I just have to say thank you to them for bringing me into this world on this very day. This is the day that I took my first breath into this world. Also, the day that makes me who I am.
I'm just thankful and blessed for each and every day that I'm given.
I am also looking forward to meeting my Prince Charming one of these days.
Alright, I think that's it for my post today. I have a headache and I have plans for my birthday today. I'm going to stuff my head in the pillow now.
Here I am, another year older and still trying to come to the realization of it.
Right now, I just really need to get my feelings out. I have currently been feeling lonely, but also okay with being alone...if that makes sense. I am very understanding of the fact that others have their own things going on. I am also okay with the fact that I'm not the center of anyone's universe. I have to admit that not having anyone to talk to hurts a lot, especially since the only people that I want to talk to have time differences.
I really do try to keep myself busy and trying my best not to be a burden to those I want to talk to. Honestly, you can only keep yourself busy for so long until you lose complete interest and all you want to do is sleep. I have gotten to that point, where all I want to do is sleep and not be a burden to anyone. I actually hate to be the first one to make the move, I feel like I'm a burden. I feel like I'm bothering them and I'm always left here thinking, "What the hell am I doing?"
I'm at the point where I'm confused and being confused makes me flustered. Myself, being flustered from my confusion, I tell myself that I should wait until others want to talk to me. When I do such things, the anticipation ends up eating me alive and I feel unwanted or not needed. At times I think to myself that maybe I was meant to wander this world on my own. I always somehow end up pushing people away or they end up forgetting about me.
I have to admit that the only true friends I have ever made were online. The hardships of these types of friendships/relationships is the time differences and that we can't actually meet as we'd like. Due to that, I am not able to talk to them as much as I'd like to. Therefore, I have to wait until they're ready to talk because they know their schedules, in which I don't have one. I have honestly met the point in my life where I know I don't have many friends.
The only best friend that I actually have that lives close to me is Azu. She has been my friend since freshman year of high school, she has always been there for me. I can always count on her to be there for me when I need her, she is my shoulder to cry on. She is also my sister, she has seen me at my worst and always found a way to lift me up. I think that I'd still be at my worst without her in my life.
Everyone has their ups and downs, but it really does suck to know that you really don't have any friends where you live. Right now, I'm just really stuck and I feel really lonely. Lonely to the point where I just don't want to talk to anyone anymore. I want to roll up in a ball, cover myself with blankets, put my music on and cry myself to sleep. I think that maybe I just need to take a break from everything.
I really hate that I'm just starting to feel this way about everything right before my birthday. Like, really? Why now? Maybe it's my way of learning things and growing up, I'm not sure. You know what? I think it's just me and my brain that over thinks every little thing making me feel like shit. Over thinking really does make everything worse and it even creates problems that weren't even there to begin with.
Just please hang in there with my ranting, I am literally typing whatever is flowing from my brain. I do suffer from anxiety and depression and for myself, I think that talking about this makes things a bit better. On a slightly good note, my friends say that I'm the "brain" of the group and also a "good talker". I have to agree with those statements actually, I do tend to think way more than I should and I can't keep my mouth shut. So, there you have it!
My rant of all rants!!
I honestly didn't think I would talk this much.
There was just too much on my mind and in my heart.
I had to get this all off of my chest.
I do feel really lonely right now and I guess I just have to endure it.
Without struggle, how are we supposed to strengthen ourselves?
Hello!!! Today I would like to just show you pictures of me throughout the years. I guess I can say that I've "changed" or "matured". I went through a lot of "phases" and a lot of crap. Then again, what human doesn't? I would like to say that a lot of my changes were for the best.
The changes in my life had only made me stronger.
Please enjoy my selfies.
(They will be going from oldest to most recent)
Another reason why I brought up me growing up is because my birthday is coming up. My goal is to become a better me, to be more responsible, and to become a young lady I was blessed to be. I also want to be truly happy in which I am almost there. I want to meet the people I have become quite close to and earn my own money. I want to be successful for myself and for my loved ones.
I want to be the best that I can be for myself and for those who love and care for me.
