I'll wait for him

Are you willing to wait for someone that you have strong feelings for?

I have really strong feelings towards this guy, ever since I saw him I knew that I had feelings for him. I thought it was just a tiny little crush but, it turned out to be more than that. Although, he had told me that he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. He really is an honest and amazing person, I had never found that in any guy I had previously met and dated. He's different, and he gives me these feelings that I can never explain.

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Recently, I had met him for the second time at a friend's surprise birthday party. I really tried to keep my distance from him because there were so many other people around. I also didn't want to come off as clingy. I couldn't help my feelings towards him though. My feelings for him are just so strong, being away from him even for a few minutes kills me. 

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I had to sooner or later ask him for an embrace. Once we did, without thinking before my actions, I told him that I missed him. Even knowing that it was way too soon and he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. His response to the I miss you was an "Uh huh." I felt so damn stupid and humiliated. 

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The embrace of course, lasted a while. I couldn't help myself. It's so crazy how someone who was  once a complete stranger can mean so much to you after meeting them. While we were walking to the birthday girl's house to go swimming, I was holding hands with him. His grip was loose and we were uncomfortably silent. He had told me he wanted to talk to me about something.

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I knew exactly what he was going to say to me, but I kept on holding on to him. Of course, he tells me that he wasn't ready for a relationship and that nothing was going to make him change his mind. I was a little hurt but, who wouldn't be? I understood him though, and the fact that he told me face-to-face and being nothing but honest, I had to respect his decision. He then, let go of my hand and I just kept a smile to show him that I wasn't hurt.

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I like/love this guy so much that I will respect his decisions. I will take my time and wait until he's ready. Even though, there's this thing sticking in the back of my mind. "What if I'm waiting for absolutely nothing?" It makes me sad to know that may be the truth. "What if I'm wasting my time waiting for him but, he decides to move on?" 

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Those things somehow seem to subside after I remind myself of what my best friend/brother had told me about his best friend (which is the guy I like). He had said that they are not the type of guys to mess around with girl's feelings. They are the type of guys who would go out of their way to make people they care about happy. They aren't the type of guys who would want to treat a girl badly. He even told me that his best friend is the kind of person who just needs time.

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I can completely understand that, once in a while people just need time to do things that benefit them. Also, the guy I like even came forward and told me that all of those sweet and intimate things we did together was done so that I wouldn't be disappointed. So, was it done just to satisfy me? Was all of those things just a lie? Or did he really have an interest for me or what? 

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I'm not upset that it came to that. I just really want to know if his feelings were really there or if it was just an act to make me happy. I really hope that it wasn't just an act. I just really wish he knew how I felt about everything. How I felt when I was around him, how I felt when he held my hand, and how I felt when he kissed me. I just wish he knew that I may be clingy but, it's because I like to show affection. 

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He really gives me these feelings that I have never had before about anyone. I had never been sitting alone and had pictures of him flashing through my mind. I had never looked at a picture of a person and automatically smiled and giggled. When I see him my heart races and I can't help but smile. I honestly wish that he was mine.

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In my eyes, he is pure perfection. He is everything that I'm missing. He's my missing puzzle piece. I feel that he's my other side or my other pair. He completes me and I'm happy that he was brought into my life.

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Therefore, I will give him time, as long as he needs. I will wait for him because I really truly do not want anyone else. He means that much to me, I had never felt this way about anyone. I really wonder if he has ever thought of me once or had some feelings towards me. He is that special to me that I had chosen him over my sleep and even my thoughts at times.

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I will wait for him....

Wait for you by Elliot Yamin

I hope you enjoyed this lengthy post. 

Have a great and lively day!!