Good bye means forever

Today I would just like to start it off with a small message. As we all know, today is September 11th.

R.I.P to those who have lost their lives on this very day. My heart and thoughts go out to those who have lost a loved one. We will never forget. 

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Now, let us get to the post that I am ready to write.

Recently, I have situated some of my thoughts and feelings. I had found that it's time to officially let go of things and have a fresh start. I am ready to let go of these things forever. I feel that I don't need these things in my life anymore. It is time to say my final farewells and begin anew.

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Here goes...I am officially ready to leave the GazettE fandom for good. I will be leaving all of these things behind. With this fandom brought me pain and unwanted feelings. It also brought along a lot of hate and competition. It's time to say goodbye to the things that hurt me the most. 

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Goodbye the GazettE, we really did have a good run together. I enjoyed all the things you had to give and offer. I appreciate all of the things you had brought into my life. I am so glad you made such beautiful and extraordinary music. You are not the reason why I'm leaving or caused me pain, it was the fandom.

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I want to say goodbye to the fandom. Thank you for actually letting me make a lot of friends. People who actually understood me and didn't judge me. Thank you for letting me make my own loving family out of it. I am leaving you for good because you brought along a lot of pain, hatred, and competition. This fandom has become more of a competition than a family who loves music. That's why I shall say goodbye.

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I am also ready to say goodbye to the one who WAS a BIG influence in my life at the time. You have taught me a lot about myself and those around me. You have taught me to look at things differently. You had taught me to be strong and have a mind of my own. But, also with me liking you brought along A LOT of competition and hatred. It hurt me more than anything to be attacked by those who claim they love you. It ruined my life and the way I felt about you. It brought along a lot of negativity into my life that I never knew I could go through.

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Admiring. loving, and adoring you brought me into a...

Nightmare.

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It's not your fault that any of that had happened but, I feel that it's best to let you go. 

For good this time.

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You had brought a smile to my face but also tears to my eyes and pain in my heart.

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Goodbye...Ruki.

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Goodbye to our 9 lovely years we had together.

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Hello! My new fresh start!!~~~

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Thank you for taking the time to read my farewells. I am feeling a lot better about the changes I am making in my life . I feel like a brand new person, although it still kind of hurts. Why wouldn't it hurt to let go of something that used to mean so much to you? Oh well, I'll learn to get over it. :)

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Have a great day!!!

Opposites Attract

Today I would like to talk about my "natural" attraction to men with the horoscope/zodiac sign of Aquarius. Just so you know, I am born in the sign of Leo. Aquarius is the complete opposite of Leo, therefore, they both have what the other is missing. Missing pieces of a puzzle as I'd like to say, they complete one another. Also, they can make or break one another, it could also lead to a long lasting relationship or a long lasting friendship.

I would like to start with the first Aquarius that I was attracted to. You may think I'm a crazy fangirl or whatever, but I felt that I was either "infatuated" or "in love" with him. You can think whatever you'd like, judge me, you don't know what I'm feeling. Anyway, let's get to it!!~ The first Aquarius man that I fell head over heels for was Kyo of Dir en grey.

(c): diru-dailyeah.tumblr.com

(c): tumblr.com

(c): gallery.minitokyo.net

I have liked Kyo ever since I heard the band Dir en grey when I was 11 years old. Even up until now I still like him, I admire him, he's a big inspiration to me. Dir en grey's music has helped me through really hard times in my life in which I have forgotten about. Kyo has inspired me to be strong and not care what others think about me. He had taught me that you have to love yourself before you can love and care for something else. 

Another BIG thing that Kyo had taught me and Dir en grey as well, is that you should NEVER put up with dishonesty. Whether it be: friends, family, teachers, society...etc. Liars just love to soak themselves in their lies. They enjoy fooling you into thinking whatever, they also love to watch you fall and break. They live a lie everyday and every second of their lives, they don't have lives.

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This is the second Aquarius that I have been attracted to. This man has made me feel so happy and also really sad. My feelings towards him have been nothing but a roller coaster. Yet, I still find ways to fall head over heels for him over and over again. This Aquarius is Ruki of the GazettE.

(c): tumblr.com

(c): tumblr.com

(c): ongsono.com

I have liked Ruki ever since I was 11 years old up until the present. We have A LOT in common that it isn't even funny. He was born in the year of the dog and so am I!! :) As children, we went through the same exact things, we are also both the youngest siblings. There is just so much that I admire about him, I am very fond of him. 

He is a BIG inspiration to me, his voice and everything about him is very attractive to me. To be honest, I never thought that I would be attracted to him. I thought I was more into the bassist of the GazettE, Reita. Then, suddenly, I saw a video of them live and I felt something for Ruki when I saw him perform. Love at first sight, I guess you can say.

There is just something about him that makes me super happy. Yet, we all know with something good comes something bad...I will not say what it is, but I will say it's a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts. 

"Something that can make you smile, can also be the reason for your tears."

He is that kind of person who has the power to make me feel that way.

There is just that SOMETHING about him that sparks a flame in me.

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This is the third Aquarius that captured my eyes and heart. He reminds me a lot of one of my ex best friend, since they were born on the same day. Anyway, I find him really attractive and he seems like a really great person to be around. He has a "million dollar smile" as he'd like to say and he is really perverted. This man is Byou or Byo of SCREW.

(c): flickr.com

(c): tumblr.com

(c): tumblr.com

I have liked Byo ever since I was 14 years old. I don't know what it was about him, but I was suddenly attracted to him. The way he looked, his voice, his personality it was all there. I still like him until this day, every time I look at him my heart just wants to fly away. When I look at him, all I can manage to do is squeal and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. *^^*

He is in fact, very family and friend oriented. He kisses his friends and even shares a hotel room with them. He loves his family, he is the eldest out of his two brothers. He is different, and I think that's what I find attractive about him. He is also successful at what he does and he has a close relationship with his family. That's another thing that I like about him, and also that he's perverted but it's funny. XD

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Now, let's conclude this, I have no idea why I am attracted to Aquarius. It just comes naturally to me, there is just something about them. They give me a feeling that I can't really describe, they can just look at me and steal my heart. There is just something wonderful, amazing and unique about the Aquarius that gets me automatically hooked. This horoscope/zodiac stuff is not rubbish to me, it seems very legitimate and I am willing to follow what it says about Aquarius and Leo.

Thank you for taking the time to read all of this. I really appreciate it.

Have a wonderful day!!~ <3