Disappointment

Recently, I had received a message from my home school counselor and found out that I was withdrawn from it. I was horrified when I heard the news, then again, I honestly blame the school because they had changed everything around this year. Nothing was easy this year as it was the last. I am actually very disappointed in that, but I'm also very disappointed in myself. Why? You might ask. Well, because I wasn't able to push myself as much as I expected from myself. I feel as though I had let down myself and my whole family. Feeling like you've let yourself down is the worst because it's yourself who knows yourself better than anyone. 

What really frustrates me though, is that no one really wants to try and put themselves in my shoes to understand why I did what I did. They don't want to know how some things are difficult for me to process, and why it might have come to this. Everyone is expected so much from me so I feel really pressured and at most times misunderstood. I honestly am "the runt" or "the black sheep" out of the kids in my family. All of the kids that are older than me have graduated and are on their own, living their lives. The younger ones are even doing better than me. Then there's me, the one who doesn't know what to do, where I'm going in life, how I'm going to get places and it's just a giant mess. It makes me have so much anxiety just thinking about it. Sometimes I even think that I may be a dead beat or something like that or near it.

Then again, my optimism, faith and hope comes in to save me a little bit. I always know that there are ways to get through this and also that there are always going to be lessons to learn every day throughout our lives. I am going to learn to get pass this and see what this is going to teach me. This is probably one of those moments where I find someway to overcome this and become a better and stronger person. It's not all about blaming and being disappointed in the end. It's about falling and picking yourself up, brushing yourself off and carrying on forward. There's always going to be a light at the end of the tunnel and as long as you have your faith, hopes and dreams you can make it.

I'm going to get through my disappointment because as long as I know that he has a special path and plan for me, I should carry on with my head held up. I will learn from this obstacle and I will smile as I find the right path and make my way to my goals and dreams. Over all of my past mistakes and disappointments I have learned to be quite cheerful and optimistic and to have faith in things because life is sometimes too short to be down. I always try to please everyone around me because seeing them happy makes me happy. When it comes to making myself happy, it's being with others who are happy. I practically just repeated myself but, I think you will understand in the end. ^^ So, I guess the whole lesson for me here, is that disappointments can turn into your drive and optimism for success. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this post! 

I do hope this inspires you to carry on and have faith!

Keep following your dreams!

Fighting~~!!

Have a great day!